I have successfully managed to convince D that we cannot discuss marriage or anything of that sort until he gets back from deployment, but I gave in on the dating thing, with the understanding that I am still emotionally retarded and I can't give any assurances on when that will end. What I could give him is the ability to call me girlfriend and I imagine he is feeling more secure and less lonely even though we are still 3and a half hours apart. Frankly, that's what makes this all possible for me. We can't be together all the time so I can just deal with my life and all I have to do is call him at night and visit every once in a while, which I would do even if we weren't dating, so....yay.
I was watching Studio 60 on the internet at work yesterday (don't judge, you would too if you could get away with it), and one of the characters found out that his brother had been captured in Afghanistan and was being held hostage. The character basically went nuts trying to just figure out what was going on and I started to cry. I do not want to go through that, but I know that it's possible, even probable that I will go through something similar. There will be times when I don't know where he is or if he is ok. Life is strange.